I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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