did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
