she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
