You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
