I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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