is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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