so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
