508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
