Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there was a trapeze. enough said
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
