the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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