$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
