so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
