Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
