the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
