I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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