Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He better not be in your backpack
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
