Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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