why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
