I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
