thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
