i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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