I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize