Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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