So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
