i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
