why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
