I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
