Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
