Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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