how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
