yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
