I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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