did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
