they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize