How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
