his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
