Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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