walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
nutella sex= disaster
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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