6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Plan B is the new Plan A
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize