Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
