Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
