is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
