Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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