I'm really into asian looking animals
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
