We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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