WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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