I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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