that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
