when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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