there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
