And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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