so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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