You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
