My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
