You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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