I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
