singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize