You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
