don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
