It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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