I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
