and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize