he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize