he wants to bone in the snuggie
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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