But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
