i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Welp...herpes.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
