I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
