i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
