sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize
