HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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