..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
