he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
