seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
