I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
