She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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