$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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