I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
