i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
